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November 2013

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My 5th Serious Poëm

Genocide.
Potatoes w/ chives.
Rollercoaster rides.
These are a few of my favorite things.
So I thought
Why not take all of these things
And put them together?

It started on a Tuesday.
No wait
A Wednesday.
I was vacationing in Virginia.
Hanging out at the ultimate place to be.
Busch Gardens!
It's no question as to what I was doing there.
That's right.
Having the time of my life on Apollo's Chariot
I
Felt
Like
A
God
And in that moment
I saw it
Over the rivers and through the hills
I was drawn by its aura of magnificence

The International House of Pancakes
And for just that day
they were having a special!
Potatoes w/ chives
All you can eat for $19.99!
What
A
Bargain!!!!!
I just knew I had to get there

I flew out of the coaster when I realized the time
11:37 PM
And these damn Virginian IHOPs close at 12!
In a panic I tried to make it to the exit
Oh snap!
Just my luck!
Sixteen different preschools decided to have field trips to Busch Gardens all on the same DAY
I tried my best to get past that ocean of practically brain dead midgets
They were just too powerful to go through alone
I think one bit my crotch...
Luckily that day I was fully prepared for this kind of situation
I pulled out two pistols and donned a smile
"Would you like some candy?" I ask one of the children passing by
He looks up
Awestruck
"Why, mister, I haven't had anything but
dirt and tinkle juice in weeks.
I would love some candy!"
I think for a moment.
This boy
He's special.
No
Not him
Not now
"I'll get you your candy. For now, come with me!" I tell him
I put him on my shoulders
Let the games begin

TO BE CONTINUED

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